Regroup.

Life has thrown me some curve balls lately, so I'm having to rethink my goals for the next little while. I need to cut myself some slack, admit that I'm in over my head, and focus on the things that are really important.

1- Sam: We're going gluten-free and really trying to focus on addressing his ongoing health concerns. That's a huge commitment that requires several hours a day of research, learning and application. I'm also doing his Early Intervention goals and really working on stimulating him socially. Frankly, that's enough for now.

2- Charlie: She's a peach. Super easy baby. My goal is to not neglect her in favour of Sammie. Charlie needs to be treated as an equally important and validated member of our family, not some after thought that pops up after we've addressed Sam needs. She needs some solid Mommy and Daddy time every day, no matter what else happens. And she needs her naps. Naps are critical, and need to not be treated as secondary to Sam's programming/social life.

3- Zita: I need to run. I really do. I need the release in a huge way. 3 times a week- it simply has to happen. End of story.  I'm also buying an elliptical which will let me burn off some steam every other day, but getting out of the house and going to the gym 3Xweek is about my mental health as much as my physical health.

4- Jason: My husband and I need to connect. In the midst of a very stressful, scary period in our lives, we need to turn to each other and rely on each other for support. To do that, we absolutely must be connected. I am bequeathing no less than one weekend night (Friday, Saturday or Sunday) to date night. If Sam is there, great- we can do family date night. If not, we actually have to commit to making ourselves do something new and interesting every week, together, as a couple. We have to make our marriage as much of a priority as our children, for their sake and for ours.

There. That's it. My revised goals for right now.

If my house is messy, so be it. It's officially off the priority list. Because as long as the four people on my list are taken care of, it doesn't matter where we live or how.

(That being said, I am hoping to reintegrate some cleaning goals by July, assuming things start to settle out with Sammie.)

Progress

Just wanted to update on how AWESOME my last goal has been going (all 3 or 4 days of implementation!) - this morning not only did Tara do all her morning chores, but in a matter of minutes we also were able to pick up all the clothes on her floor (which made a Toby-sized pile, and I wish I was exaggerating), sort them and put them away. Yesterday had a lesson in properly setting a table, and both kids helped Greg pick up and clean the basement in anticipation of our visitors.

I knew the kids would be happy to help out, I just didn't anticipate how FAST it would be WITH them, or how independent Tara would be with her chores - that I could give her just a couple of verbal cues and she could get the table ready and set while I finished up supper.

Next up will be a 2-parter in regards to the kids: downstairs chores, and a brainstormed list of what they can help with around the house (more for Greg and I to remind ourselves).

The downstairs "chores" are behaviors I'd like them to practice on a regular basis - putting dishes in the sink after meals or snacks, cleaning up toys at the end of the day, keeping the kitchen table clean (putting away coloring/crafts/etc. when done).

Some examples of how they can help include:

Tara:
Set the table
Wash the table
Sweep the kitchen
Fold and put away her laundry
Put away cutlery

Tobes:
Help sort laundry
Wash the table
Set the table
Wash the bench/chairs

It will be an ongoing brainstorm, but those are what come to mind right now!

I am NOT a Morning Person.

Which is kind of funny, given that for YEARS I was out of my bed by 5:30 every morning (or earlier) and had to be up and awake enough to do outrageously important things by 6:45. But someone else's schedule, as well as money are pretty great motivators to haul a$$ first thing in the morning.

Otherwise I don't want to leave my bed. It's a really awesome bed. I'm in it right now, actually. I have 4 pillows plus a body pillow, lots of comfy blankets, my computer, my iphone, and my tv. Who could ask for anything more?

My Insomniac's Cleaning Plan is still a work in progress. I've been getting up more and more and have been productive in those early hours, but more often than not lately I've been sending the kids downstairs to have breakfast (which hubby lays out for them before he leaves for work) while I snuggle in my warm bed for a little while more.

I'm hoping this week's goal will help with that.

I've been talking about getting the kids to help with more chores. Hubbyman and I have been talking about what that should look like - do we give an allowance to Tara based on her help around the house? (We've chosen not to at this point, though allowance is a whole other matter!) Do we come up with a schedule for them, or do we just keep a list of chores they CAN do, and ask them to help as applicable? (Schedule is winning out). How do we balance them cleaning their own stuff with help around the house?

Step 1 is going to be a basic routine I want us ALL to get into - morning chores. Once Tara starts school in the fall our mornings will need to be MUCH more structured as we move from afternoon kindergarten into full-day grade 1. I've drafted a chore chart for each of them to have in their rooms outlining what is expected of them before they come downstairs for breakfast. Tara will be easy and eager to complete, Tobes might be more difficult for a few reasons - 1) We have to help him out (which requires me actually getting out of bed EVERY morning when he wakes up), and 2) He wakes up STARVING in the mornings, and so to delay food even by 5 minutes will require an adjustment.

Tara's chore list is:
Wake up at 8:00 (a reminder of what time she can get out of bed. This will change in August, but let's cross that bridge when we get to it!)
Get Dressed
Make Bed
Put Away Books (from free-reading the night before - our library is communal in the hallway)
Pick Up 5 Toys (hopefully this can get removed at some point as her room gets more organized)

Toby's chore list is:
Go Potty (not a chore, but a reminder for US to put him on the potty FIRST THING)
Get Dressed
Make Bed
Put Away Books

These should each take no more than 10 minutes, hopefully! And it means no more rush to get dressed 2 minutes before we leave for a morning activity, and it means that I will start actually getting up with the kids (if not before) and be more productive myself. I've printed these lists off to put on Tara and Toby's magnetic chalkboards in their rooms. Both charts also have pictures on them to help illustrate their chores.

I'll check-in next week and update!

Week 1: Baby Steps

"With me, it's all or nothing...is it all or nothing with you?" - Oklahoma!

I hate, hate, hate to fail.

There is nothing in the world that I hate more.

And to be absolutely truthful, it doesn't happen often. Once I decide that I'm going to do something, I usually find a way to get it done. Call it a 'competitive edge', OCD, or just a sheer drive to accomplish, I strive on out performing myself at every opportunity I get.

For the most part, this trait has served me rather well. I've achieved great things, and sometimes it feels like I've lived three lives in my thirty-two years on the planet.

BUT...

I'm also prone to quitting.

If I can't do something 'right' (ie: perfectly) within an acceptable timeframe (ie: immediately), I lose my drive and decide that I don't want to do it anymore.

This is probably my worst quality.

Without my drive, I am genuinely incapable of following through with a project. I give up, often having barely even given myself a chance to learn how to do it properly.

I've been experiencing a whack load of drive issues lately, especially with my goals.

I'm starting to accept that I set too many goals for myself, too fast. I can't make the kind of dramatic life changes that I need to make overnight, and that means learning how to take baby steps.

I've been thinking about giving up on the whole thing: the blog, the cleaning goals, the fitness challenge, my new routine with the kids...just walk away and pretend I never started.

You can't fail at things if you never start them in the first place.

But I'm not going to do that. I'm going to force myself to confront this beast- my own fears and insecurities- and I'm going to teach myself how to work towards something, slowly but surely. 

There will be no overnight success. There will be no gold medal at the end. And it will never be perfect. (Truthfully, can anyone with two kids under 3 ever actually have a perfect house, routine or healthy lifestyle? I think not.)

BUT- I will feel better about myself because I will grow and accomplish things, one at a time. And I'll learn to breathe. And I'll learn that it's ok if I fall short on my goals once or twice, or even daily.

Every small step is a step in the right direction.

So take a deep breath, and get back to it.

Areas I'm rocking: I've been awesome about my activity levels- I'm running 3X per week, and am doing moderate activities like walking every day. I am also really getting a hang of the cleaning schedule. I'm making steps towards implementing my face to face and creative time with Sammie- he's been sick so hasn't been as easy to engage, and I'm also spending lots of quality time with Charlie.

Area I need to work on: More one on one with Sammie during the day time. I need to find a way to better balance my cleaning schedule with spending time with him.  Also, I'm not doing 'great' at the eating breakfast goal...I definitely need to work on that one.

TO DO LIST: 

• Print off and laminate daily schedules so I can track my progress
• Clean out the small vacuum cleaner so that I can do quick sweeps daily, and then one deep clean with the central vac per week. 
• Find time this weekend to clean the bedroom so that I have a "clean slate" to start with for next week. 

Little Guys Can Do Big Things Too...

I can't find the video for it, so instead I will substitute this one because 1) Pirates are awesome and 2) They're lazy, which isn't the same as procrastination, but still.



Also, isn't it ironic that I'm looking up Veggitales instead of writing this blog post? And I'm writing this blog post instead of watching more of my online conference (though to be fair, I've already watched 2 presentations tonight).

Back to the topic! Little Guys Can Do Big Things Too!

Tonight's blogpost is inspired by the fact that I am sitting on a HUGE treasure (see? Pirates!), and am in danger of losing it if I don't use it.

My kids LOVE chores.

They're at the age now where they LOVE to help out and it's a "treat" for them. My youngest adores helping with laundry (though it's hard when we have a top-loader. I miss our front-loader of our old house if only for that) and my oldest is almost 6, and can be very handy when I remember to use her! When I remember, they make their own beds, fold laundry (AND put them away), and clean up their toys. When I remember...

I've always had the problem of asking for help. It's easier for my brain to figure out how to get something from the top shelf, rather than ask someone taller. It's not an automatic thing for me to ask for help, and assigning chores seem to fall under that category. But I don't have the "luxury" of doing it myself. I need to teach my children to tidy, organize, and clean, even if I'm still learning myself. They need to learn to take care of their "homes" (rooms), just like I want to take care of mine. They need to learn to help out around the house, and help keep the house neat and tidy.

What it all will boil down to is chore charts. Just as I'm making one for Hubby and Me, the kids will each have one too. Both will have one in their rooms with words and pictures to guide them to get up, get dressed, make their beds, pick up all the books (from the night before - we have a communal library in the hallway), and pick up a number of clothes/toys/items, all before we head downstairs for breakfast. This will also mean I need be up as well (something I talked about before - getting up when I WAKE up), as it'll take some time before it's a habit for them. Of course, this might all change in the fall when my eldest starts full-day school, but let's not focus on that right now...

Then downstairs I can also make a list of daily things they can do around the house - fold laundry, put away toys, set the table, empty the dishwasher, clear the table after meals, etc. Still working on the details of how to assign the chores, or how to encourage them to complete them, but right now they're excited to help out around the house.

I'll report back as it progresses!

Treating my Temple with the respect it deserves

Your body is your temple.

I've heard that said many times.

And if it's true, then my temple sure doesn't get a lot of worship action. :P

I'm HORRIBLE at keeping care of myself. I always treat my own health and body as if it is my last priority.

I shower *if I have time*.

I never take the time to dress nicely or do my hair.

I seldom took the time to work out.

I only eat in between rushing off from one place to the next, and the stuff that I do eat is far too often a whole lot of junk. (Which is funny because I really prefer healthy foods, but never take the time to prepare them for myself.)

And I'll admit, I spend a lot of time "feeling like crap".

Maybe this is because I treat myself like crap.

Enough. It stops now.

Taking care of myself has to become a priority. I want to role model that health and personal pride is an important value for my children to have, and for that I need to live it.

So I've got some goals...baby steps, right?

1- I really want to run 10km by the end of the summer. I would like to do this in a reasonable amount of time. I've determined that 10km in 100 minutes seems relatively reasonable. To get there, I'm going to run 5km at least 3X per week. My running days are Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  If I miss a day, I will make it up if possible. On the off days, I will find a way to get at least 20 minutes of exercise, whether it be a walk, a bike ride, Zumba, or something equally fun. I will give myself one day off from this a week. :)

2- I really want to eat better. I'm going to start with a VERY basic goal, that I have a real problem maintaining: I WILL EAT BREAKFAST EVERY DAY. Non-negotiable. And I will do so within the first hour of waking up. Breakfast can  be anything from a smoothie to a piece of toast, but whatever it is, I must eat it. NO COFFEE BEFORE BREAKFAST.  That's going to be really, really hard for me.

There. That's a start. Trying to add anything on top of that would be too ambitious right now.

I will update again with my progress next week! :) Wish me luck, again ;)

Treating my Castle with the respect it deserves

I love my house. I really do. I've always been very proud of it- it may not be perfect or lavish, but it's pretty and well presented and reflect who I am as a person.

But lately, I haven't been so proud of my house.

Lately, I've been struggling just to keep on top of the cleaning. And a house is only "pretty" when it is clean.

I've learned to mellow out on this front a bit. Having kids inevitably conquers one's tendencies towards OCD...but lately I've been wondering if I haven't strayed too far away from my original standards.

I've never been a "neat freak" by any means- but presenting a tidy, clean and pretty living space to my friends and family was something I took great pride in (just don't look in my bedroom...that's been my mess-haven since I was a kid!).

Now, I find that I can never quite get the house to a point where I am proud to have people over. And that needs to change.

My castle is a reflection of me. It's time to find my pride of ownership again.

As such- I've started a goal for baby steps to get us into the habit of daily cleaning.  Every day, Jason and I will each do a nightly "chore"- each chore should take about 15 minutes or so (20 on the weekends).  I've set this schedule into our phones so that we get reminders of what our chore of the day is.

On top of that, we have 3 things that must get done every night before bed:

1- At least one load of laundry (which is determined by the day of the week)
2- Clean the kitchen, including cleaning off the table
3- Tidy up the small living room and the sitting room before bed.

In total, we should never have to spend more than 30 minute/day each doing actual housework if we stay on top of our plan. (Though it may take a little while to get us there since the house is already pretty behind on the cleaning and will require some extra catch up)

We're putting it in effect starting tomorrow- wish us luck! I'll be here to update next week.